sorry i havent been blogging here. always have been wanting to find time to do it. but somehow im getting a bit lazy to blog. perhaps ive had this blog for too long. almost 2 years since i started it i think. oh well. either that or life is just getting a tad bit too mundane and not worth typing about. haha.

ok the last statement was a lie. because the past week has been so packed and busy and full of things to do i dont even know where to begin.

but i do know the reason why ive been having so much fun and things to do. its because he's back. i wish i could say back for good but sadly im nowhere near that. i still have a good ONE WHOLE YEAR to go before i finally dont hve to go to the airport and say goodbye. well, at least its only two more goodbyes to go. but a whole lot of waiting and waiting and waiting...

i guess if you asked me to sum up a long-distance relationship (LDR) in one word, it would have to be "waiting". i cant think of anything more appropriate. u just keep waiting and waiting and waiting. waiting for him to be back, waiting to relive all those sweet memories you've had when you two were together, waiting to have someone to hug and kiss, just waiting to know that he's gonna be there when you need him, when you want him, when you just need someone there for you...

honestly, i cant believe ive survived thus far. the past year has gone by so fast i sometimes find it hard to believe it has even happened at all. especially now that he's back, i find i keep asking myself how i managed to survive and how im going to survive the next four months that he's gonna be away.

but despite all the tough moments and difficult times of yearning and sulking and just being plain frustrated, it's worthwhile because i know that there's a future. if you ask me, a LDR is not worth enduring if you both know its not going to end up anywhere. call me a helpless romantic or even an idealist daydreamer, but if im not sure im gonna marry him, i wouldnt even bother with this LDR nonsense. there's just no justification for me to brave the so-called consequences of such a relationship when i know there's going to be nothing worth looking forward to at the end of it.

LDR definitely has its perks i must add. you really learn to appreciate the other person more and more each day. you being to understand how much the other person means to you. as you look back and smile on all those memories, you also realise how much he loves you. all the teeny weeny itsy bitsy things all count. the way he tries to make his time stretch when he's back with you and how he makes you feel loved and send butterflies in your tummy even though he's so far away.

i have to say ive grown a lot. ive learn so much from being in this relationship. and i couldnt ask for a better person to be in it with. thanks dear for always bringing a smile on my face. one week has already passed by so quickly, and its cause ure here with me. i know 4 weeks isnt a lot of time but thanks for trying to spend as much time as possible with me. really appreciate the effort. no matter how long ure back, it'll never be enough. so i promise to stop sulking about it. haha. *bigfatgrin

but most of all, i thank God for being the director and bringing him into my life. whenever i think of how we met, its incredible, and it definitely wouldnt have happened without God's fine tuning and planning. and i know God will be with the both of us, taking care of us when we cant be there for each other. teaching us to rely on Him more and also to love Him more and more. I cant wait to see what God has installed for the both of us!

:)