sometimes, i wish i had a ginormous and amazing talent.
not an eensy weensy hidden talent.
something that would make other proud to be associated with me,
something like being really smart, being able to play an instrument really well or even a leader whom everyone respects.
a talent that would help greatly in making money would be preferable.


i'm not trying to garner support or wallow in self-pity but thats just how the world functions.
at the end of the day, it all boils down to whether its something worth talking about or even mentioning.
it's about how that talent can be put to good use and in the open so everyone will recognize it.
definitely not hidden under the bush or a quiet and shy demeanor.


it makes me wish i had taken piano or art classes instead of ballet.
it makes me wish i were more charismatic and a people's person.
it makes me wish i had studied harder and scored really good grades and got into good schools.
it makes me wish i had mastered the chinese language more, or at least another language (dialects counted).
it makes me wish my parents were more of the pushy kind, rather than letting me develop and do what i enjoyed.


sigh.
God, why does the world have to keep pulling us down?
and sometimes they dont even know theyre doing it...

i feel like such a proud parent!
haha.
they were amazing. they did such a good job on the day itself.
everything went like clockwork. smooth and in time.
i couldnt have asked for more.
thank you my little actors for being ever so encouraging and just being yourselves.

most of all, thank you GOD for your provision, guidence, patience, strength and love.
there's absolutely no way we could have done an entire musical in four short days if it wasnt for your mercy and grace upon all of us.
thank you too for the people who turned up, both christians and non-christians.

i'm geared up for next year, though i'd probably already be working by then.
perhaps ive found somewhere i can really contribute to.
i suppose i really enjoy doing the "behind-the-scenes" sorta work.
hurhur.
and ive also heard word about a "musical YF camp" the year after.
that sounds exciting.
(:

p/s: thanks CORLISSA for the photo. haha. i stole it off her blog! who has got the musical photographs! send to meeeeeeeeeee!

i am one exhausted co-producer/director/commander/props-mover/singing-instructor/bao-ga-liao.

BUT
i thank God for

• the opportunity to be able to serve in church.
• my "little" actors who have been such an encouragement with their enthusiasm and crazy antics.
• Amanda who believed in me that i could handle this.
• Jun Wen and Jim who have been helping with the music.
• Bao Shun who has been meddling with the (lousy) sound system and lightings.
• the rest of the actors, though minor roles, they are no less important to the musical (and me!).
• everyone else who have been praying for us continually.

only two more days and it'll all be over.
and i bet i'll feel as proud as a parent for my "little" actors.

(:

i promise to post smthg about my hongkong trip and birthday as soon as i get my hands on the photographs.
and when i do find the time to actually sit down and type something.
this whole week is already filled to the brim with activities and i havent even done any christmas shopping!
*GASP!

sure we may be young, energetic, full of life and having holidays
BUT
there's a limit to how much we can do
and we definitely have no control over time.

i wish adults would stop seeing us as extra help thats ever ready and always avaliable.
they need to realise that we cant possibly agree to help as and when they want us and need us to be there.

its not that im not happy to be taking on this project,
but the demands from the adults have been unsupportive and unreasonable.

they want a us to put up a musical within the short time that we have and yet make so many unconstructive comments and criticisms.
like how we're only starting intensive rehearsals the week after.
she was appalled and said we should have started earlier.
and then later she said she didnt realise that many would be involved in the week long camp.
the camp was already known since the mid of this year, how could she not realise?

furthermore, they want us, the INTERMEDIATE classes, meaning those at least sec 1 and above, to be the leading actors.
and today she comments that the younger kids, meaning those in primary school, would probably not understand.
seriously, i would like her to write a musical that would appeal across the board, from primary 1 all the way to secondary 4.
why ask us to write the script then?
does she want my actors to play primary school children?

the adults also want my actors, the secondary kids, to sing with the primary school (and below) kids.
i dont blame my actors for feeling sian and embarrassed.
and they will be in their costumes.
how weird will that be for them?
it also means they have to run around.
all because the kids need help.
what about my actors?
we already havent got enough time to practice but the adults still insist that they join the kids for practice.

now i know what A and J are going through.
only today was it my turn to realise and face all this nonsense from the adults.
i just wish they actually looked at themselves and evaluate their actions.

im just hoping the musical will turn out ok.
i know my actors are putting in a lot of hard work despite being busy with other things.
unlike the kids, we do have to do a lot more than them.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

on a much happier note,
im leaving for hongkong tomorrow!

really looking forward to the cooler weather.
singapore has been nothing but scorching hot with periodic showers that are of no use.

i also realised that this will be the first time im going to the airport with jun yuan and actually taking the plane with him.
hurhur.

thanks to singtel's auto-roaming,
i'll still be contactable by hp.
but only the important things please.
or just sms me!
(:

My EARLY birthday present!

Thanks bro.
(:

finally its my turn to say

THE EXAMS ARE OVER!
woohoo!
but of course, the results will soon follow but thats another episode for another time.
for now, i just want to focus on my so-called freedom and enjoy myself!

and enjoy myself i sure did yesterday at vivocity.
met up with my SPG (student peer group, not sarong party girl) for a "end-of-the-exams-celebration".
ok the celebration for mainly for amanda, benny and myself since jim already finished his exams last week (not fair!) and baoshun doesnt have exams. hurhur.

anyway, amanda and i gave in to our japanese food cravings and headed for sushi tei.
the food, despite being rather pricey, was rather good.
we ordered salmon maki, salmon in some mushroom cream sauce, salmon tofu (lots of salmon today huh), cha soba (my fav!), a dragon roll and teriyaki unagi.
the cha soba was the best, at least for me.
the texture of the noodle was just nice and it was, as it were, done al dente. the dipping sauce was also salty enough.

one problem i had with that place was the service.
initially our salmon tofu arrived and unfortunately, our first excited bite produced cringes on our faces.
it was cold, hard and definitely not tasty much less edible.
so we passed it back to the waitress asking her to check if the dish was supposed to be cold.
along the way, she showed it to another waitress who turned to our table and gave us a nasty look. she obviously thought we wouldnt notice it.
later when she arrived with the new plate, she simply plopped it down on the table with a pissed off expression and walked away.
i would have at least expected an apology and an explanation for the previous cold plate.
tsk tsk tsk.
i dont think i was expecting too much.
especially since sushi tei isnt exactly a cheap restaurant.

after dinner, we decided our sweet tooth(s) needed some attention and we proceeded to TCC as suggested by Benny.
well, given that vivocity is such a humongous place with a messy layout, we walked on and on and on and could not find TCC.
haha.
i wonder if there is TCC in the first place!
we finally gave up when we couldnt find TCC on the map and saw coffee bean.

coffee bean was hilarious.
to cut a long story short, firstly jim blew out the birthday candles on the cake intended for ME, put his foot over the three slices of cake, and amanda almost put the piece of cake that dropped on her toe onto the other cakes on the plate.
ok it doesnt sound all that funny here but it was hilarious.
absolutely hilarious.
thanks guys, it was an awesome birthday celebration!
(:

(sorry you guys have to contend with lousy photos again. no one brought a proper camera out that day!)

amanda and me at sushi tei

amanda and me yet again!

amanda says benny only looks good here because his face isnt facing the camera. haha. how nice.

i lurvveeee japanese food

jim blew out the candles on the tiramisu and blackberry cheese cake!

us again!

benny my fellow hougangian

jim and his "im-the-godfather" pose

ah bao and me

i hate the fact that my last paper happens to be an open-book exam and starts only at 5pm.
that's just absolutely horrible and such a pain in the butt.
it's like you dont feel like studying anymore but you know you still have to get down to doing something.
something that involves effort and time spent with books and papers and highlighters and post-its.
not really my idea of a wonderful weekend.
but i suppose the phrase "sian ku hou tian" holds true.
im just waiting to jump for joy and announce that
THE EXAMS ARE OVER!
and it also means im a day nearer to my hk trip!

but for now, i'll content myself with watching episodes of Top Chef.
courtesy of cause of mr chinny chin chin.
there's always "tomorrow" to have a date with my books.

little wishes deep down inside
she just wants to have it all
not to show the world her worth
to prove it to her worst nightmare...