im dead beat.
met mish for breakfast at amk mac.
drowned my hotcakes in maple syrup.
really.no exaggeration here.haha.i did the same for my hashbrown.yummy stuff.heh.

ok today was funny.
there was this china lady and a guy who sat next to us in the early afternoon.
a few hours later she came back to ask us if we saw the wallet that she accidentally dropped.
we said no.
and........
the lady and man actually sat around mac.
doing nthg. not eating. not nthg. except occasionally talking to each other.
me and michele suspected that they didnt believe us and were quite sure we took the wallet.
the guy was facing our direction and he kept peering his head out to stare at us.
strange.
we thought they would follow us when we finally left the place.
strangely enough they left just before us. but they did see us pack up.
WEIRD.

me and michele went to chua chu kang for the first time in our lives.
haha. i finally know where Lot 1 is. (ok stop sniggering!)
checked out the new levis square cut jeans..not as expensive as i expected..but not as nice as i imagined it to be..but still..think im gonna get a pair..haha..
anyway...(ishouldreallystopthinkingaboutshopping.yeahright.)
the journey was LONG and EXPENSIVE but well worth it.
Michele finally has her new hp! yay! and i have the honour of being the first one to have my photo in her new handphone. haha.

have fun playing with it tonight girl..get used to the new smsing format too!
heh..had a blast with you today..its times like this when studying isnt that much of a chore..
and thanks for bringing the webcam from home..heh..i appreciate it lots and lots *grin*
don't bum around too much tomorrow alright..will try to meet u again on sunday to study..
love ya girl..

bah. econs tmr. and i have no idea how to do any of the numerical questions in my tutorial.
dont think i'll be using the calculator i borrowed from mish.
haha.
but yeah.
dont think i'll have as bad an experience with econs........
*sigh*
wish i could do something.
but i cant.
and.
and.
and.
it hurts.
):


finally.finally.finally.
(:

im so sick of waiting for my exams.
argh.
hurry hurry hurry on up.
i appreciate the extra time given to study but because its tooooo loooong a time im bumming around more than im supposed to be studying.
tsk.

econs on friday.
marketing next tues.
argh.
marketing is the bane of my existence.
do they really expect us to memorize so much crap?
im barely even past lesson 4 and i have until lesson 13.
die lah.
im only going through the webcasts. havent even started memorizing.
and sat is mom's birthday which means a whole day of celebrations.
sigh.

guess i gotta keep looking towards the 3mth break.

bangkok or hongkong.
mongolia will probably have to wait.
dad's not giving me allowence during the holz.
i want to go for a holiday with my friends but doubt my parents would allow.
i gotta start finding a (very flexible) job.
joy boo's coming back soon.
mig is going into the army.
lunch date with corlissa at crystal jade.
raiding bugis street with michele.
shopping (she actually initiated it) with amanda.
GB company camp.
brush up on my cooking skills.
perfect my baking skills.
chillout/hangout/pub/club/whatever.
sexinthecity/OC/friends/movie marathon.
learn (finally) to play the guitar.
get my song recorded (pleasepleaseplease).

jam-packed huh.
well.
yeah.
but.
sigh.
):
heh.

A dedication to the place i spend the most time at...
(especially during the exams)

a little note on the previous entry:
the list is definitely not exhaustive.
haha.
so dont think i go for any tom dick or harry.
HA.
i cant settle for anything but the best can i?
with that said, dont go asking for application forms just yet.
*wink*

someone asked me the other day what my ideal kind of guy is.
couldnt really give any specific answers at the point of time though.
been thinking about it since then and basically filling up my brain with everything else but exam stuff.
heh.
so after some careful thought (in between marginal cost curves and inflation rates), here's the unofficial description of kat's prototype of a perfect guy:

1. He loves God as much (if not more) than i do (: - this is really first and foremost and utterly crucial and important to me. i know (and have experienced) the dangers and pain of being unequally yoked in Christ. no intention of going through it again.
2. He's at least a year older than me - ok i'm taking a risk here as i'm hoping age would translate into maturity and self-confidence..which..well..erm..u know..er..haha. shant go on.. (;
3. He speaks English - hmm..this needs some specification; he speaks fluent (or at least a certain standard of) English..we've got to be able to communicate baby..and i dont do sign language (and yes yes yes..my chinese sucks. there i said it. happy now.)
4. He's gotta have a sense of humour - i absolutely love to laugh and smile. no further explanation needed here.
5. He has a pretty decent fashion sense - i dont mean to sound superficial or anything but i'm someone who takes the effort to look presentable and enjoys shopping. (i also think tight pink shirts are an unquestionable taboo for guys. haha.) so i at least expect him to know how to dress and groom himself well. he doesnt have to be decked up in designer garb from top to toe either. go spend ur money on smthg more useful! (like me! haha. just kidding)
6. and finally (this would be a really sweet bonus): im a sucker for romantic guys. heh.

ok since we're on this topic, let me say that contrary to popular belief, i am not high-maintenance. like since when man. haha. seriously. if u think im high-maintenance you obviously havent met some of my friends. haha. no names here least i get into trouble (but i still love all of you nonetheless! *muack*). so yes. as much as i like to shop, i love to spend on others too..(michele and gina should know this the best..they just need to look at their feet. *wink*)

alrighty. my econs textbook is demanding that i give it some due attention. mug hard and study smart to all those stuck with exams.

to mish, gina, meiyen, nic, fish, swi: ladies night next wed ok ok ok? (:

the owner (and of course author) of this blog would like to say a few words:

1. hello to all my friends and faithful (and the occasional) readers of my humble little blog
2. hello to those who read my blog but i have no idea who in the world you are
3. hello to those who read my blog but i have no idea who in the world you are but for some strange reason (maybe cause singapore is seriously just too puny an island) you know who i am (whether personally or indirectly or thru' mutual friends {that i do not know of} or by some other really far-fetched relation)
4. people who qualify for points 2 & 3, please do feel free to leave me a message in my tagboard..haha..just say hello yeah..at least i know whos reading my blog..
5. due to points 2 & 3, i need to issue out a disclaimer notice that whatever is on my blog is and are my personal opinions, experiences, comments, feelings, thoughts and basically ME. so take everything with a tiny little pinch of salt though i honestly have no intention of attempting any closet evility-ness.
6. due to points 2 & 3, i think i need to exercise a little bit more..er..restraint and censorship in my entries. just so i dont create unnecessary gossip, misunderstandings, tittle-tattle, idle talk (ok u get the idea). but yet i think its my blog, and im entitled to say what i want to. however, gossip (and bascially talk itself) is seriously a big peeve of mine. especially when there are people i know who will be dragged into the superfluous involvement. so, well, erm, hmm. i guess i'll definitely be saying a lot less personal stuff. then again, maybe not.

ok.

done.

heh.

night y'all. (:

oh fricative.
haha.
ok thats not some new bad word or smthg.
it actually means "A consonant, such as f or s in English, produced by the forcing of breath through a constricted passage."
haha.
so as u can tell, i had my elang exam today.

i really dont like open book exams cause it usually is tougher than usual and extremely tricky.
this paper was no exception.
though i really thank God that every question ('cept of cuz the grammatical tree..duh~) was MCQ.
but MCQs mean that theres only one correct straighforward answer.
no chance of squeezing out a mark from a whole chunk of written rubbish.
haha.
found out i had quite a lot of mistakes after going thru the paper with the other girls.
but then again, we might all be wrong. haha. couldnt agree on quite a number of questions.
*kat squeezes shut her eyes and crosses her fingers*
heh.

the original blog entry has been edited.
view above entry for details.

syntax, morphology, clauses and predicates, semantics, adjuncts, pragmatics, phonetics.
just some of the rather foreign words i discovered in elang. how ironic. haha.

had soci exam today.
wasnt too bad actually.
feel kinda cheated though cause i stayed up till about 130am to go through my stuff again.
darn. should have just went to sleep. heh. pig.
but more importantly, God was gracious to me today.
i thought i would be late for my paper (no thanks to benny.haha.)..
the bus was about to reach school when there was a mini jam along buona vista rd.
panic panic shock shock.
reached school at almost 8.55am i think.
haha.
5minutes to spare.
and i was thinking to myself, how in the world am i gonna have time to finish 60 MCQs and write an essay outline and do my essay all in only 2 hours?
amazingly i was done with alllllllllllllllll the mcq questions in like slightly under half an hour..
haha..
took my time to do the essay outline and essay.
finished everything with half an hour to spare.
God is gooooooooooooooood!
(:

went to bishan for lunch.
haha. have been craving to have my teriyaki burger n milk tea ever since i did that stupid quiz of mine.
we were supposed to study till about 4..but after the meal we were both so sleepy we gave up.
haha.
and...well..heh..we went shopping instead.
haha.
wanted to get the lace camisoles from ebase and the beaded belt from Shibuya..
the belt would have gone perfectly well with the deep purple cami and jeans..
BUT. i promised myself no shopping till after the exams.
im such a killjoy.
haha.
BUT. me and mish bought gorgeous earrings!
good enough to placate me for now.
*wink*

alright.
back to my books.
papers actually.
erm..it should be notes rather.
ok. enuff nonsense.
study hard guys.
no wait..should be girls.
hmm..guys and girls?
okok. i'll shardup now.

wait.stop for a minute.take a deep breath.think.whats going on.

had a great time with michele today although we were at the library, surrounded by a sea of muggers.
seriously.
amk library is like mugger-haven.
haha.

anyway..got to finally spend some quality time with her..
just crapping and laughing and talking..
talking about pretty serious stuff too..
it really fills my heart with joy to see you wanting to attend church regularly again..
keep pressing on sister!
and feel free to ask me any questions alright?
i'll try my utmost best (and raid my dad's well-stocked library of commentries and what not) to answer them.......without further confusing u or complicating matters. heh.
(:

going back to study there again..
not too bad a place..cept it gets kinda freezy..dont forget ur jacket yeah mishie moo..
hmm..but the problem is..it lacks FREE wireless surfing..
they (or rather singtel) charge smthg like 6 (freaking) bucks for half an hour..
thats like an OUTRIGHT RIP-OFF man.
no internet means at least 8hours before i get to go online again.
which means.
heh.
well. u know what i mean.
*wink*

alrighty.
better be heading to bed.
oh yeah. if u guys are bored or need smthg to destress..do my quiz below -->
http://www.quizyourfriends.com/takequiz.php?quizname=050419102105-852474
haha.
night y'all.

i think you'll get to see me cry twice..
once. when i finally get to see u again.
twice. when u have to leave me again.

What have i to offer to You
thats even worthy to give to a King.
For i am but an empty shell
filled with nothing else but trouble and sin.

Broken, suffering, poor i come
head bowed down
with tears i approach the Almightly One.
Who with open arms receive this child
His Holy Hands cradling the ugly and dull.

Immeasurable grace none other can give.
An act so merciful none other can conceive.

argh.
supposed to be studying elang now.
but so distracted. haha. just felt like i had to write that.
heh.
alright.
"breakky time".
haha.
(:

my goodness. i only have like..FIVE days before my first paper?
gosh.
crunch time people.
Gina and Michele, im guess im gonna have to force you two to start VERY SOON.
monday alright?
we'll study then reward ourselves with a movie in the evening?
(:

my cousins are coming to my house again tonight.
tennis and swimming and dinner.
love it when theres people over.
cause it translates into good food.
well not that i dont get good food everyday but..u know what i mean.
the past few days theres been people over almost every day.
haha.
honestly i smtimes feel like i stay in a chalet or an inn.
my mum should just quit her job and set up a home business where people can come to our house and eat..like they have in Japan..
haha..they can even have alfresco dining!
'cept i dont wanna be the one who does the dishes.
heh.

but having my cousins over means my niece will be here too.
(if ure reading this..*WARNING*. *wink*)
haha.
and it can be a highly embarrassing and disruptive thing.
kids.
*kat shakes her head and sighs*
but im not too bothered i guess.
first of all, theres nothing to answer to since theres nthg going on.
secondly, all the questions have already been asked..unless of course my parents decide to get creative..haha..
thirdly, aiyar..after a while the novelty and amusement of it all wears out. people will stop asking or be interested anymore. old news. haha.

alrighto.
its time for my date with my econs text.

So effortlessly done
Many can achieve it too.
I, however, only
Look out for the
Exclusive grin by you.

i never thought id say this but i miss french classes now.
i dont exactly miss the lessons and all the nonsensical grammatical rules the frenchies come up with (like hello..they masculinize and feminize EVERYTHING)..
but rather..

i miss the crazy jokes and hilarious antics of monsieur Larhzal.
i miss the times spent creating conversations in french.
i miss everyone just laughing at each others' pronounciations in class.
i miss the friends ive made during tutorial.
i miss the friends ive made during lecture.
i miss:
nicola (the lets-make-our-conversation-interesting-and-super-chim),
juanna (tribal woman),
clarabelle (ms sweetie pie),
hong yan (the softie-player),
gim chye (the good-natured mr-know-it-all),
ruth (the girl with the funky pink hair!),
su chin (she's got the cutest accent),
jerald (erm..well hes a funny guy..haha..and i like his specs),
augustine (mr-super-blur),
donny (the exercise freak with blue eyes ),
lincoln (the horse),
little norman (unbelievably year three!).

and of course my two darlings Michele and Gina.
Thanks for "pressurizing" me into taking french.
and spending 700 odd points on the module.
i just love u two.
(:


the class with monsieur larhzal holding up the thank you card we all signed (card also courtesy of mishie the creative director!)


impromptu half a class photo..we just kept adding people to the photo as one by one came out from the washroom..haha


the three girls with monsieur larhzal

its already 8:13am.
someone was supposed to meet me at 7.30am.
so who's the piggy now?
*wink*

u know..i always wondered what i did wrong to you..
what in the world did i do or say or whatever to you or against you or maybe indirectly to you that things have to come to such as this..
its just a whole load of rubbish if you ask me..
amazing how we have plunged into such a ridiculously silent state..
and every week i have to go through the same emotions again..
if its not hurting you its hurting me..

i realise that ive been running around more often this year..
going out..spontaneous breakfast..lunches..dinners..suppers..movies..free esplanade concerts..aimless outings..attempted studying sessions.."nua-ing" gatherings..shopping sprees (ok maybe this doesnt count.hurhur.) and even impromtu chat sessions at the bus-stop (though pei 'e isnt around to have it with me anymore. sigh.)..
but i have to admit that i miss just having one particular person to do all these things with..
someone whos there for you all the time and makes time to do the stuff u wanna do with you..
guess im just reminiscing on the not-too-long-ago past..
which i confess i didnt really treasure as much as i ought to have..
and..haha..i conclude i must have been an absolute pain then..

its already been about nine months..
we've both moved on with our lives..
but yet when i think about all we did (ok maybe not all we did.) and what you've done for me..
i cant help but smile..
dont forget about our meal yeah..
gotta be really soooooooooooon (*supergiantsizedbighinthere*) cause my exams are in 2 weeks time..

argh.
exams. the dreaded E word. only 5 letters but it packs such a punch it has already bruised me with two black eyes..
really really really tired.
my body is like going nutty too.
it cant seem to decide whether it wants to go into a state of fever or not and its leaving me hanging in between..
like im tired and feel so heaty and yet i cant reach the point where i'm actually sick.
very annoying.
oh well.
think i should start sleeping more a.k.a reverting back to my usual sleeping pattern..
but something's keeping me awake during those ungodly wee hours of the day..


































and thats..
*drumroll please*

















































my books.


































hur hur.
*wink*

blind hope for something that isnt there
leaving the heart in piercing dispair.
optimism struggling and gasping to breathe
battling against the devouring grief....

for once.
im truly at a loss for words.

maybe optimism is ridiculous and not applicable in today's cynical arena.
maybe optimism is just self-denial to the truth right smack in my face.
maybe optimism is meant for kids in their little innocent worlds.
maybe optimism is merely delay of the torturous emotional pain to come.



night.

God is good, what else can i say?
He never fails to take me through the day
no matter how hard, no matter how grey
even if the world should leave me in dismay.

God is good, who else can compare?
His love and patience only to care
for a child so useless and so bare
to look up to her Father, she wouldnt dare.

God is good, when is He not?
From the beginning He has sought
me out from the rubble and fought
for me with love which cannot be bought.

its almost 12 noon and i just woke up from a much needed beautiful and peaceful sleep..
its been ages since my body clock has allowed me to sleep beyond 8 or 9am..
and i thank God for this timely blessing..
He understood how much my body really required this good rest..

French oral test on monday went a lot better than i expected and it was definitely a truckload less stressful than my first one..
me and gina had a relatively easy topic (FOOD!!! - which i was really praying hard for) and we just seemed to have such a good time during the short minutes we were given to prepare it..
haha..gina even had the time to sms..haha..
Our tutor being such a whacky and humourous person also assisted in relieving the anxiety..
he just kept joking and inputing wise cracks..some of which are just plain stupid. trust me. Ha.

marketing presentation went better than i expected too esp. since its been ages since i last presented anything..
but the success of it definitely has to be credicted to our dear wee wee!
and if i learnt anything from this (or rather him) its *ahem* i quote, "If you're gonna do something, do it well".
we owe you a lunch treat wee wee! geylang frog leg porridge and tau huay!

french test yesterday, however, was absolute crap.
especially the listenning part. i didnt get half of what those bloody (say this word with a brit accent) french people were rattling. and i do literally mean rattling. they speak so fast and join all their words that it just sounds to me like a whole string of gibberish. haha. in the end i had to guess where their final destinations were. bah.
to top it all off, i was having a gargantuan hellofva headache.
God was really my source of strength as i sat through the 1 and half hour paper that required the non-stop usage of brain juice.

was completely drained after the test as i slept all the way to serangoon gardens..
was feeling awfully grouchy too..
but i was woken up from lalaland by an anonymous call..heh..but it was a much needed call..
oh and guess what..it took me, michele and gina almost two whole hours to get to sgn gdns..
and we sat "three freaking buses" just to reach the coveted food paradise..
but the journey was well worth it..
we savoured chai tau kueh, hokkien mee, stingray, sotong and a huge glass of sugarcane..
it was our way of patting ourselves on the back for having lasted three LONG days of endless brain-draining work..

in life, anything can happen and will happen.
as i was praying before going to sleep last night..i was thinking about how i thought my life would be like a week ago, a month ago, 6 months ago, even a year ago..
a week ago i was panicking over my french test, behaving like a worry wot, stressing myself out with "i cant afford to screw it up again"...
a month ago i was contemplating about how i would get through my projects due and how i would last through so many more lessons of french..
6 months ago i was thinking how long more all the emotional frustration and confusion would continue to torment me..
a year ago i was lamenting about having to start school again and worrying how i would get through uni life alone..

i smiled and
i thanked God.
and decided not to wonder about tomorrow.
(:

thanks to:
Wee Foong - for doing so much..in fact too much..for the marketing project..
Gina - for helping me do the graphs..like i said..bill gates doesnt like me too much..but ok thats no excuse..teach me how to create the graphs!
Michele - for amazingly doing both her own marketing assignment as well as the marketing project..

u guys are amazing. thanks.

ok it's 2.30am. and im hungry. and i need to sleep.
but just one more thing.
can u please not ever ever (ever!) do that to me again.sigh.
s'il vous plaît.
merci beaucoup.

night y'all.

this churning in my stomach
is it the fluttery butterflies
or knots of apprehension and fears?

this pounding in my heart
is it the sheer excitment
or collisions of anxiety and tears?

All heavy laden acquainted with sorrow
May Christ in our marrow, carry us home
From alabaster come blessings of laughter
A fragrance of passion and joy from the truth

Grant the unbroken tears ever flowing
From hearts of contrition only for You
May sin never hold true that love never broke through
For God's mercy holds us and we are His own

This road that we travel, may it be the straight and narrow
God give us peace and grace from You, all the day
Shelter with fire, our voices we raise still higher
God give us peace and grace from You, all the day through

-this road-

finally.im done with marketing lesson ten.
guess what. it took me almost 4 hours to go through a 2 hour lecture.
argh.
all thanks to the lecturer.
his powerpoint notes have like the barest minimum amount of information (as if hes doing it for the sake of comforming to the norm of having a powerpoint during lectures) and because of this i have to like pause the webcast everytime he says a sentence to get it down on my notes.
thank goodness for webcast.
if i was sitting in the LT i wouldnt have been able to get 3/4 of what he's spouting.

things are starting to get busy.
monday i have an interview with mr mervin wee and gotta rush back to NUS for my francais oral test..
tuesday i have a marketing presentation..
wednesday i have my francais exam..
cant wait for thurs to come..my free day..and possibly a well-deserved break..
BUT alas..the break is not to be..as the dreaded exams are coming..
in three weeks time..
sigh..

but exams always mean that the holz are nearby..
a THREE MONTH holiday to be precise..
but argh. this holiday thing is giving me a headache too.
too many places to go. not enough time. and definitely not enough money.
guess its a matter of priorities here.
and im still determining them..

for now im just contented.
im picking up the pace of studying and things are going ok in the other department.
just enjoying every conversation.
and of course all the funny faces and the SMILES those conversations bring.
thanks.
(:

ok.its back to my marketing project.then again.its dinner time.grin.its perpectual feasting at the wong's residence every night thanks to mum.currychickenchupchairoastedporkfriedegg.heh.eat first and worry about the waistline later.grin.

Happy April Fool's!
(and to ed for playing his first trick of the day on me.im sooooooooo honourED.)

ok just one more thing.
if karma really exists, joel ong u had better run for your life cause u should be dead by now.
HA.
closet evility at its best.