i think i finally am able to put into words why i feel so reluctant to let him go.

its not because i want him there,
but because i want to be there for him.

its not because i want him to hold my hand,
but because i want to hold his hand.

its not because i want him to smile for me,
but because i want to make him smile.

its not because i want to talk to him,
but because i want him to have me to talk to.

its not because i want to hear him say it,
but because i want to tell him "i love you".

4 months.
16 weeks.
112 days.
2688 hours.
161280 minutes.
9676800 seconds.