God is trying to teach me something...

But yet..my stubborness is getting in the way of His lesson..

I remember not too long ago, i chose to give up something so dear to me..
Something i knew i had to and something that just wasn't worth clinging on so tightly too..
Something that made God sad and disappointed when He saw me still holding on to it..

God was (and always is) good and blessed me greatly when i let go of that something..
But i was greedy and wanted so much more..
I wasnt contented with what He gave me..
And so i let go of that blessing..
Not for nothing..
For i had set my sights on something else..

God was (and still is) good and again..despite my utter selfish nature n worldly craving..
He again blessed me with something..
But right now..i realised that God is trying to teach me a lesson..
He's trying to show me that the something He has given..or rather the something He allowed to happen as I really wanted..isn't something i can accept..
It didnt turn out the way i really wanted it to be..
No fairy tale ending..
At least not yet..
Im still in the midst of grappling with the situation..
And still insisting I can find a solution to create the happy ending..

This time..i really got so much more than i bargained for..
And somehow..i know i wont get the something i wanted so badly..
Its just not for me..and God is trying to show me that only He knows whats best for me..

Yet..i can't humble myself to admit im wrong..