even though our "evangelistic outing" was a flop, nonetheless, i thought it was quite a successful SPG (student peer group) outing for the uni group..

it became more of an outing whereby we got the chance to catch up..just hang out..and have loads of laughs and candid moments..
really thanks to Benny for organizing this outing and for spending so many smses and talktime trying to contact us and remind us busy people..
i cant wait till the next outing and hopefully more people will be able to come then..
(:

anyway..since i watched the da vinci code yesterday..i might as well give my really brief two cents worth and comment on it..well..brief it will be because the movie was basically..BORING..it started out ok i guess..the basic thriller movie formula of an unidentified killer in the beginning..from then onwards..it just went downhill..it became too draggy..and overly-complicated..it was like the director was trying to cram too many details, plot twists and viewpoints into that one movie..it resulted in too long a movie and too many instances whereby it should have ended..tsk tsk tsk..the only parts i enjoyed was the "detective" work by Langdon (with no help from princess sophie...who just kept slumping down onto stairs in disbelief) as well as how the director superimposed the scenes of history while it was being narrated by either Langdon or Teabing..
overall..only one thumb up..okok..maybe two..and thats only because the whole bunch of us kept making up our own jokes about and during the show that it became entertaining..haha..if not..*buzzer sound..OUT!

picture time!

amanda and her imaginary friend

amanda and her (real) friend eunice

carl's junior! beats mac hands down anytime! and if u share the combo meal with a friend..its actually cheaper than a mac meal!
and they even provide free condiments! yummilicious salsa! thanks jim for balancing them all the way back to our table..haha

jim, amanda, benny..doing what they do best again..taking funny photos and playing with their food..kids..haha

and this was supposed to be the "normal" photo..haha..except amanda's hands trembled at the sight of our normality..hahaha..

ok here's just a thought..why do u need to upsize the drinks since its free flow?

burgers in diapers..haha! or more aptly..sumo burgers! (for being so big and rounded)

my guacamole bacon cheeseburger!

the guys - benny, jim, wee foong

the girls - me, eunice, amanda

me and amanda! yay! haha..i like this picture lah..

me, amanda, jim - take 1

me, amanda, jim - take 2

met Edwin after he was done with work and after walking around (literally) the basement level of suntec..we ended up at crystal jade for dinner..

my pei dan shou rou chok! hhaa..okok..so im boring always having the same thing..but i like it..so there..shoot me..haha

and here's edwin's braised beef dry noodles! but more importantly..here's edwin in an ORANGE-striped shirt and a TIE! haha! i couldnt stop laughing when i saw him..hurhur

and...this is what i left behind of my chok..haha..even edwin was appalled..hurhur..and he was saying now he knows why JY put on weight when he was back..hahaa..OOPSY!
was really great to finally meet up with u eddy ed ed..thanks for coming down although it was quite a tiring first day at work! and thanks for walking around with me from suntec to marina just to find my shorts..haha..and and and..im honoured to be the one to have dinner with you on your birthday! (:
looking forward to our next pigging out ben&jerrys session and your first pay..ahhahaha!

and last but not least, i love my hp.
and nokia, for the fuss-free uploading procedure.
hurhur.
until now i still dont know how to upload pics frm my older samsung hp.
hahaah.

since im waiting for JY to finish studying..i thought i'd blog about something that happened really recently..but i'm just gonna make it really fast and brief and get straight to the point..

honestly..i think some people need to realise that not everything revolves around them..its almost disgusting the way some people can be that selfish..grow up..u need to mature and start realising that there are people who are worse off than you..and yet they dont complain half as much as you..or react in such an immature and silly manner..you're only looking in the mirror and not what's outside of your reflection..but its really what's outside that is hurting..and you are the reason for that..

i cant stand people who have double standards about things..i find it very revolting..i admit im not perfect..but i dare say i dont treat people with such outright double standards..im more appalled by the fact that i actually admired you and the way you were so passionate about your work..but now i see there's another side to you..that has totally changed my opinion about you..what you told me on two occasions have completely twarted my respect for you..i thought the first occasion was forgivable but the second has just proved it..its really disheartenning to have to see this..

i really dont know what is the best way to react..i probably wont do anything about it because i guess im in no position to..and what could have been done i have already said..all i know is that im just very sad..and very disappointed more than im angry..i just hope one day realisation will hit and a change will occur..

to my dearest friend who has been deeply hurt..hang in there alright?
God still loves you.
i love you too!
(:

my neighbour told me that im looking more grouchy and bored.
he says its because school is out.
WHAT.
haha.

well at least im being more occupied than i thought i would be this holz.
im the head of admin of the sociology society freshman orientation camp (what a mouthful!) and yes im only in it because of gina and michele..hurhur..
im also in the committee for my upcoming church camp (yay!) handling the games and whatnot..
im involved with the script-writing for the kindergarten play this october..
and im gonna start helping out at the kindergarten when school resumes in july..
and of course..
JY is coming back!

so yeah..thats whats been keeping me busy..
but sadly..i wont be going on any holidays..church camp doesnt count..cause im still stuck with my parents..hurhur..
anyone up for batam?
its $50+ for to and fro ferry ride, an 8-course lunch and a mini-tour..
of course..there is the SHOPPING..haha..with kueh lapis being on the top of my list..hahahahaha!
(:

You never really understand the love of a mother or how incredible a mother's love can be until you witness it for yourself.

One of my mum's kindergarten students are over at my place right now.
and, he cant walk.
and im hearing how he's afraid of everything and yells quite a bit when his mother walks away.
but my mum says he's a brave little boy, bearing with all the pain and sweating it out during difficult therapy sessions.

the mother, is even more brave.
she's went through 4 abortions.
yup.
FOUR.
at the expense of her health.
because she knows there's no way she can possibly look after another child and her little boy.
that my readers, is the immense show of a mother's love for her child.

and for all its worth, the boy is really cute. hurhur.

and of course, there's my mother.
her love for other people is amazing, as is her rapport and r/s with people.
how much effort she has put in just to encourage these people and invite them to our house, to cook for them, to talk to them, to befriend them, is something i'll never ever be able to measure in words.

one mother's love to another.
and another to her son.

there are better things to think about than sucky grades.
there are more important things than dwelling on one's own imperfections.

heh.
the boy's happy laughter, is enough to put a smile on one's face, and a tear is one's eye.

good morning everyone.
(:

a relationship already requires a lot of time and effort to maintain.
what more a long distance one.
so here's an entry that announces a huge thanks to JY for all his efforts.

from sending a package filled with my favourite sweets and biscuits from aussie despite the crazy postal charge (which cost more than the goodies itself!),
to the insane telephone charges chocked up with him smsing me with his aussie line and using his singtel hi-card to call me when his internet was down,
and his creation of a "5-hit combo" today just to keep me happy whenever he has to leave his lappy.

sometimes i do want to be selfish and whinny and demand more attention.
but i look back and think of all he's been faithfully trying to do to keep me happy
and a huge smile forms on my face
and sometimes a tear wells up in my eyes.

thanks dear.
i miss u loads.
not just loads. but truckloads.

today was such a hilarious day. and it no surprise that it had jim and amanda in it. haha.
we met up today with the intention of settling stuff for the upcoming church camp.
what we got was a load of crazy fun, entertainment, dressing up each other to look like idiots and ok we did settle quite a bit of stuff. we did do work okayyyyyyy. haha.
ohhhhh! and we cooked lunch!
actually...amanda and jim cooked most of the food..
i only boiled the eggs and chopped the veggies and mushroom..heehee..
*sheepish grin
(:

Photo time!

this is what can happen in the kitchen..keep all sharp things away from children!
(and 20 year old children too..hurhur)

this is my contribution today..
haha..turning on the gas stove..and boiling the potatoes and eggs..somemore of my contribution!
sliced mushrooms and chopped up veggies..

this is before the oven-treatment..raw, pink, and fishy..

and this is the after..cooked, still pink, and still fishy..haha..
Jim's contribution!
yummy spicy appetizing kimchi udon noodle soup with beafballs and veggies!
the shared contribution!
K cubed the ham and cooked the eggs.
J mashed the potatoes and shelled the eggs.
A cooked the mushrooms, chopped the spring onions and mixed everything together.
(its supposed to be potato salad by the way.)
(hurhur)
(the JAK concoction!)

*burp!

i've never really had a thing for strawberry flavoured things.

like strawberry icecream or strawberry milk or strawberry yoghurt.
they always had that rather "gone-bad" sort of taste and aftertaste.
but finally i've found something that would clearly make the exception on my tastebuds.

i hereby present to you.....

strawberry wang wang!

heehee. cheap thrill i know. but i love it.
and it keeps me grinning like an idiot every time i eat it. haha.
(:

the best news ive heard so far:

JY is going to Hongkong with us at the end of the year!!!

yay!!!!!
(:

today indeed was a good day.

the farm vist was rather interesting and educational, especially the goat farm.
i got to taste new things i normally wouldnt: chocolate-flavoured goat's milk, lettuce + kiwi juice, wheatgrass guilingao, wheatgrass + soya bean milk.
had a good lunch at Lot 1 foodcourt.
got to spend time with daddy walking ard and exploring Lot 1 (its our first visit!).
kenny, my smelly dog, finally got a much need bath.
managed to squeeze in some time to talk to JY before showering.
went to pick bro up from SIM and headed to ikea.
had yummy fish fingers and chicken wings from ikea.
walked around queensway with bro.
bro finally got his oakleys.
i decided, after much whinning, sulking and hard deliberation, against buying smthg i really really liked.
had a great time talking in the car with bro on the way home.
went to the 12th floor to pass JY's mum the guilingao i bought for her.
had a gd time standing at the doorway talking with her and kelly.
little natalie smiled at me not once, not twice, but many times!
but she wouldnt let me carry her.
haha.
and now im back blogging.
while talking to two of my bestest best friends over msn.
and JY's back early and online!
how sweet can life get?

and well....this....is what i gave up today:
sigh..........

Puma has officially become one of my favourite brands.

not that it wasnt before.
but even more so now.
why?


TADAAHH!!! they make tshirts in my size!!!
hurhur.
and of course. thanks to daddy dearest for paying for the tshirt. heehee.

speaking of daddy..im going to the farms with daddy tomorrow!
yes you heard me right..haha..because i want to go but mum is busy with the kindergarten and my brother has to go to work..my daddy has to come along with me. haha!
and yes..singapore does have farms..haha..
a fish farm, a goat farm, a veggie farm and im guessing a mushroom farm.
hopefully a photo update tomorrow!
(:

if anyone noticed at all, i removed my previous blog entry. why? because i feel ive been too mean and judgemental about it..i mean..seriously..a girl's life is just so unfortunately superficial..even amanda agreed with me..in the end..the questions and headaches we wake up to each day are the mundane things like what to wear and to lament about how we have no clothes..haha..so..well..ive been too harsh and critical when i myself would probably have faced the same situation and would have blogged about it..heehee..*sheepish smile..so..im sorry about poking fun at people (behind their backs nonetheless)..heh..and i really dont wanna be a hypocrite either!

slowly im discovering who reads my blog.
and today i found out one more.
hello chris.
haha.

i never learn my lesson about changing room mirrors..tsk tsk tsk..i always forget that they never fail to make you look good in whatever you're wearing..and of course due to that vain and narcisistic side in each of us we get carried away admiring our reflection..much left have enough brain space to remember how changing room mirrors lie..sheesh..

now im having second thoughts about the nike 3/4 pants i bought..it looked good in front of the mirrors at Tangs..but when i tried them on again at home..they look rather..erm..or rather..they make me look..weird..hahaa..its nice and all..really..not to mention a lot more than i would pay for a pair of 3/4 pants..so..*shrugs..oh well..haha..but you have been warned! beware of the mirrors at Tangs!

AND i wish fcuk would stop fooling around with the sizing of their tshirts..sometimes the XS is just nice..sometimes its huge..and sometimes its a wee bit too smallish..and today happens to fall into the last category..tsk tsk tsk..of course im to blame for not trying as well..but but but..i usually just grab an XS and it FITS..haiz..either that or ive grown fatter..hahaha..which is not a possibility i'd completely rule out..hurhur..

things definitely change after you have a boyfriend.
for one, my dad, brother and even my neighbour have decided to gang up and abandon me.
they refuse to peel prawns or crabs or any other creature that needs peeling to be eaten for me.
tsk.
jun yuan.
hurry hurry hurry home!

on the other hand, its nice to have your parents love your boyfriend so much.
they've asked him to come to hongkong with us at the end of the year.
and are going to fly over to perth next year to attend his convocation.
tsk.
even im jealous.
grrrrrr!

anyway, i cant wait for church camp! its gonna be pretty exciting i guess. especially since jim is in charge of the programmes. haha. and im just his "i've got no time the whole of next week" back-up worker bee. hurhur. but oh well. *shrugs. it is fun planning for the programmes and all. and its not like i have a choice since my dad is the camp chairman. haha. anddddd at least i've found something to keep me occupied for the next few weeks leading up to the camp. got to type stuff for the camp booklet..probably try to spruce it up a lil with some designs and what not..plan the night adventure programme..plan the family games..see to the logistics..should be heaps of fun..not to mention work too..haha..

Buttttt..the church camp is 5 days..and we might be going up early as an advanced party..and we're going to Penang after the camp for another 2 days..and spending one more night at Ipoh..which means a grand total of 11 days away from my lappy! which more importantly translates into..11 days without talking to JY!!! ahhhhh!!! horror horror shock shock!!!

haiz..thats the only thing thats killing me..tsk tsk tsk..haha..hear that JY..u had better come back soon..haha..and..well..thats the only good thing about the holiday is that it (hopefully) makes time go by faster and by the time i come back its only about 11 more days till he's back in singapore! yay!!!

hmm..one more problem though..how do you pack for 11 whole days wihtout crumpling everything?

When we were in kindergarten, we envied the girl with the nicer "pop-up" waterbottle.
When we were in primary school, we envied our partner's colourful pencil box with the all the buttons and secret compartments.
When we were in secondary school, we secretly envied the class nerd who scored all the high marks and the "cool kids" we could never hang out with.
When we were in junior college, we envied the rich kid who changed shoes like underwear and got driven to school in ginormous cars (of which their parents also changed like underwear).
When we were in university, we envied those who came to school everyday wearing something different for the whole 3 years of uni life and of course those who got CAP scores of unattainable proportions.

I wonder when will we ever be satisfied with our own lives.

on a lighter note, i wanna go for a holiday!
someone whisk me away pleaseeeeee!

I had heaps of fun today..just walking around with amanda and jim in an attempt to shop..meeting charlotte later for dinner..and sharing two drinks at starbucks after dinner..

so thanks a lot the three of you..dont think it would have been as fun if not for each of you..you've made my wednesday a really great one!

(:



cream of mushroom soup frm manhattan fish market..well..lets just say it tasted a lot better after a few dashes of salt and pepper..


and here's char squeezing the lemon on our calamari rings! haha! the three of us stared at the rings when it came..they were..rather..puny..haha..but thankfully it tasted quite good..


Flaming seafood platter for two..ok the flaming part was quite a novelty..and we asked the guy what was on the prawns that he was flaming..he said it was mayo..and something "special"..tsk..like cant u just tell us what it is..haha..its miso by the way..i read it on their webby..


and to the left we have the grilled seafood platter for one..that..was a let down unfortunately..we didnt even bother to finish up the fish and calamari..


as u can see..the fried platter reigns over the grilled platter..haha..the unhealthy always tastes better doesnt it..


moving on to starbucks..Iced Caramel Macchiato and Mango Ice Blended..


amanda and jim doing what they do best..taking crazy photos..


and here's one more if you need more proof..haha..


jim was supposed to take a photo of me and amanda..tsk tsk tsk..haha..he reveals his narcissistic side..


nice photo number one!



nice photo number two!


unfortunately..this couldnt be nice photo number three..tsk..and i wonder why..

be patient and let the video load..then check out the way they dance..i was rather blown away when i saw it on YouTube..amazing stuff..probably took a lot of practice and effort to get the timing and transitions as flawless as they did..sigh..makes me wanna dance all over again..anyone up for smthg like this? haha!

Done especially for me..
*muack
Thanks dear..
love u loads..
hurry on up and get back to me!

Last day of exams..Year 2...Semester 2...040506...NUS..Central Library...

Michele's Brand's Essence of Chicken = the ultimate weapon in staying awake.
Kathleen's notes = squiggly handwriting deter prying eyes from copying my notes.



Crayola Crayons!
I love Crayola Crayons! especially the markers which lets u stamp cute little pictures. haha.
Michele used them as highlighters..which is really ingenious i must say..haha..
we started becoming kids again..drawing and doodling on our notes..



Michele's attempt at an artistic shot..hurhur..not bad mishie moo..though i never intended to be in the photograph..haha..


And yay!!! all these shots on my blog prove that i know how to upload my photos into my lappy..hurhur..it however..does not mean im clever..it just means nokia is the champion of making things easy to use..hurhur..just connect via infrared and you're done!
i love my new hp! hahahaa. ok. i sound so bimbotic..sheesh................

anyway. yes. my exams are finally over. after stretching for a most annoyingly long period of 7 days out of which i only have 3 days of exams..and a break in between papers of a good 4 days. you know i wouldnt complain so much if the papers after the break weren't OPEN BOOK..yes u heard me right..so i was practically bumming away during the 4 day break..and in case you havent already heard me lamenting..my last two papers started at 5PM..tsk..NUS really knows how to plan the exam timetable dont they..haha..it didnt help that me and michele were suffering from the "last paper syndrome" on thurs morning..hahaa..

ohhhhhhhhh..i so have to blog about this..hahaa..only because michele said i would..heehee..we were in the library..and so i went to pee..and came back..so michele tried to shift her chair so that i could get into my seat at the corner..well..being the lazy creatures that we are (notice the generic "we"..im guilty of this too! and so are you who is reading this)..she shifted her chair by lifting it without getting her butt off the seat..you know how that is right..so yes..she couldnt really see that my foot was there and so when she set the chair down it went right down onto my toe on the left foot..the 2nd toe from the left to be precise..hahahahaa..



ok so here's a photo of my injured toe..haha..its not very clear but u can see there's this red spot and no its not the shadow from the crayon..hahaha..and if ure wondering what in the world the crayon is doing there..its michele trying to colour the spot away..hahahahaha..and ohhh! that's one side of my shoes..haha..nice right? if u want to order just contact me! different sizes avaliable! different colours avaliable too!

anyway..back to the story..haha..so being in the library..i wasnt exactly about to disturb the peace and scream out loud..woahh..the library was really peaceful alright..it was EMPTY..save for a handful of people..scary..haha..yeah..so..i sat down..and tried not to tear..haha..but after a while i found myself laughing..i mean..it is funny lah..and unintentional anyway..and michele trying to colour away the red spot (to hide the evidence!!!) really cracked me up..hahahaa..

phooey..i dont even wanna talk about the exam paper..except that people should really be more considerate and turn off their handphones..this guy's hp went off THREE TIMES and it took an announcement and threat from Prof Patke before he decided to get up and swtich it off..argh..and the hp was like in the bag beside me..how annoying..

so yes..its the 2nd day of freedom and im officially bored out of my mind..haha..i wanna work but its hard as ive got quite a bit of activities during the holz..and besides..he's coming back in june and so it doesnt make much cow sense does it..haha..oh well..looks like im gonna be a pest in the house and annoy my parents..especially since they're both at home in the afternoon and during the june holidays..hahaha..

so if anyone wants to go out..im game..just that i dont exactly have much spare cash..need to ration..haha..i gotta start saving for my books and readings next semester! haha..but i do wanna go shopping though..hurhur..the little ironies of life..

(:

just a quick update about today, my first day of exams:

woke up at a miserable 0555 and got out of the house at 0640 to catch the 650 shuttle bus to hougang interchange to board the 0705 bus number 165 to reach michele's house at 745 so that we could catch a cab latest by 0800 to reach school by 0845.
hahahahahahahahaha.
seriously, thats how i run my life. organized. precise. the timing all mapped out.
sometimes its a good thing, somethings it annoys the hell outta me.
but im not blogging about this today, maybe some other time. haha.
moving on.........

there was a traffic jam! and the stupid taxi driver....i bet he was out to cheat our money! twice he asked us which route to take and twice he took the route stated otherwise. bahhh. as a result we got into an avoidable jam on the way to school. which was horrible. it made me and michele feel rather sick in the stomach. tsk.

shakespeare exam was just. simple. plainly put. B-A-D. argh. and i was so frustrated as i read the passage given because the words were printed so small and the printing itself wasnt very good so it was kinda faded and not clear enough. i read the first paragraph and completely skipped it to do the second question first. BAH. these people should attend my visual comm class, especially the lecture on typography. word space, font size and leading all affects readability! HA!

went to munchie monkeys for lunch after the paper..its like the usual hang out for lunch when i have two papers in a day..hurhur..shared wedges and calamari with mish..but i gotta say that most sadly..the standard of their food has gone down..even the quantity..shrugs..oh well..was still not too bad i guess..met nicole..and we had a pretty good time chatting and finding out more about switzerland, her exchange programme and her plans before heading back home..sounds so exciting..my parents would never let me go backpacking..haha..soon after..we migrated to an empty couch..and saw shaun..haha..after a while shaun joined us permanently after his friend left and the four of us started crapping..haha..it was a lot of fun..too bad we only got to do this on the last day we officially met as a class..heh..later Erin and Allana joined us too..and we nua-ed around for a good hour or more before heading to MSPH6 for the paper..ohhhh! and how could i forget to say that i had my brownie! haha! i was a very happy kat after the brownie. hurhur.

visual com paper was ok..it was really like an art exam..i did feel kinda sorry for the guy sitting on the left side of me..while i was busy colouring and drawing and making a lot of noise erasing and outlining..he was struggling with math problems..hahaha..and to make it all worse..the students doing the NM modules left early..some even before the first hour..haha..i think they must have wanted to tear their hairs out..hahaha..too bad..heh..well..i really didnt expect mr reddy to make us design something so big..we had to design the cover of a metal pencil case for children..haha..when i saw the size of the outline of the pencil case i was like...oh-oh...panic panic..haha..but it turned out ok..managed to squeeze out some brain+creative juices and design it..finished in about an hour and twenty minutes...

right now..im dead tired..i planned to read my interactive media readings but i think im gonna shove it..haha..for now..the brain needs some TLC..and tons of sleep!

will my exams hurry on up and get started?

haha..ok now thats something you dont often hear about the dreaded exams do you? welllll..im really sick and tired of all this waiting around..its like..ive run out of things to study..ok..disclaimer here..its not that ive done my revision till im a complete pro at it and can rattle it off like the back of my hand..but rather..its the monotony of reading something over and over again..and you jolly well know that heck you wont be able to memorize every single little detail..phish..i really cant wait for the exams to start tomorrow..cause by 4:30pm tomorrow i would have completed 2 papers..haha..but then the waiting starts all over again because my next paper isnt until next wednesday..bah..but it should be a little better..considering i havent really started on my lit and other art module..hurhur..

other than the exams..nothings been going on..boringggg..bored bored bored..ive been nua-ing at home the past three days flipping through pieces of paper (otherwise known as notes) and trying my best to suddenly turn into a sponge so i can soak up all the information and quotes and names and lines and what not..bah..shakespeare is getting on my nerves..i'll be a much happier kat when this paper is over..haha..and then there's visual comm..which i dont even know why they bother to have an exam..its only 20%..and its like art exam..where we have to design stuff..and it only has a meagre 3 open-ended questions..haha..oh well..by the time both papers are over i think i would be brain dead and wrung dry of whatever creative juices i have (which isnt much to begin with..hurhur).

okok..i better be off to read my notes..on and ending note..to all those who have finished their exams or are about to finish....i dont wanna heard about it. at all. not even a single word..............

if money was not an issue, id keep my handphone in this:



(dont worry. im just dreaming. hurhur.)
(back to the books!)

second post of the day:


i cant help but realise that i never actually pursued my interests.
in primary school, i excitedly tried out for the choir knowing how much i enjoyed singing.
the teacher in charge told me i couldnt sing.
for a primary 3 kid, that was quite devastating.
i enjoy dancing.
did quite a few performances for school.
primary 6, secondary school, dance society in srjc.
but after i went to acjc, things changed.
i couldnt stand to be in front of so many people.

so what is all this hype about being bold and pursuing your dreams?
its more like chasing after the wind.
working towards something you wont be able to grasp or see.

now im in NUS.
a typical and systematic product of the singapore educational system.
what have i achieved in my life?
im not too sure myself.
i love literature.
i did well in secondary school and JC.
it stemmed from my love of reading Psalms and all the beautiful imagery in the bible.
what am i doing now?
studying literature half-heartedly.
doing a shared major.
even my dreams of mass media has died down so much i cant even find the glow.
yeah new media is interesting.
i did quite ok for visual comm. i learnt alot.
but it isnt self-satisfying anymore.
nothing seems to be.
im just riding along.
acceptable grades, passing each semester, surviving each exam, churning out ok essays.

i think i lost my drive.

well, drive or no drive, i still have to study.
browse through rather.
whatever.
it doesnt matter to me anymore.

ive just changed from using IE to firefoz mozilla..at the instruction of my brother after a most unfortunate spate of consecutive events that my lappy went down..he claims is better and a lot faster..hmm..*rubs chin..im not sure about that actually..but it does work differently..in the sense that it waits and receives all the infomation it needs to load and then shows u a fully loaded page instead of IE whereby all the different stuff on the page take its own sweet time to download..haha..im ok with that actually..usually im quite impatient and just click as soon as i see the buttons i need..*shrugs..when it comes to technology i can be uber impatient..haha..you should ask michele or my brother..when the page takes just a little longer than immediate to load (i always assume it should be that way since im using broadband) i start telling my lappy that its slow and stupid..hahahaha..maybe it finally had enough of me and rebelled! technology against the humans! ahhhh!!!!!

ok..sorry..that was just me being silly..as usual..haha..and doing everything else but studying..hurhur..i guess its always the case..we do everything else but what we're supposed to be doing..i was just reading in my reading package that people naturally and instinctively do things out of convenience..in the sense..they do have some stuff that they know they have to do..things like go to the supermarket..check my email..find out more about the buffet offer that the UOB card is giving..haha..and the principle is that i'll go to the supermarket if im near by..i'll check my email if im at my computer..i'll find out more about the buffet if im near the telephone..and only when they place special importance on something then will they actually make the effort to do it..interesting huh..its something we do everyday..but we never actually realise it until we read it..haha..these people really have nothing better to do huh..then to just think of life..hurhur..

i just checked out the past exam papers of shakespeare..and..well..looks like i have a lot of studying to do..hahahaha..thats the common conclusion i draw whenever i check out the exam papers..heehee..*sheepish grin..oh well..it works as a sort of..er..motivation i guess..haha..more like do or die! yeah..but at least we only need to answer two questions..which is a good thing..the usual 3 essays in 2 hours is just pure insanity..but thats gonna be the structure for lit and other art..haha..but its the last paper..so..yeah..hurhur..and someone kindly tell me what is the structure for interactive media? PLEASE? since the department couldnt release the paper due to some copyright issues..tsk tsk tsk..wonder whats in the paper..hmmmm..haha..anyway..thank God that i only have four papers this semester..four papers in three days..but its ok..im the kind who likes to get things over and done with..so yeah..but im still grumbling about my last two papers starting at 5pm...5pm leh..by that time ur brain just stops functioning and starts to think of dinner and sleep..and possibly tv..hahahaa..hopefully my parents will be coming to pick me up on those two days..haha..thats good news for u too mishie moo!

and finally..to those people who tagged on my tagboard..u guys are horrible lah..when i had a tagboard u dont tag..only after it finally died due to negligence..you guys suddenly give me an influx of tags!!! hmmm...is that like a reflection of our innate desire to vandalise anything clean and new and empty? hahaha..okok..too much shakespeare..its making me too analytical..but seriously..for all you know shakespeare is laughing and turning in his grave..at all these poor pathetic souls who are studying his work and filling it up with meaning he never intended..hahaha..we'll never know will we..BUT BUT BUT..its always nice to know people are still reading my blog..haha..yes yes gina..i havent seen u for ages..and to my brother..i never knew u were reading my blog..haha..and to cherie toh! lets try to meet up during the long holz alright?

(notice the change in fonts..apparantly sans-serif fonts are easier to read on a low resolution computer monitor..haha..i learnt it in visual comm class!)

"hath never fed of the danties that are bred in a book;
he hath not eat paper, as it were; he hath not drunk ink
his intellect is not replenisht; he is only an animal,
only sensible in the duller parts"
~Nathaniel to Holofernes, Love's Labour's Lost

I love this video! hurhur.
closet jay chou junkie.
hahahahaha.
ok maybe not thatttt closet.
hurhur.
(:

so here i am in the central library of NUS.
it has been such a wasted trip today.
i didnt get my two main objectives done.

i had wanted to print out the assignments for my portfolio but clever me forgot to bring along my A3 sized folder..no point i printing out the stuff than cumpling them on the way home..so yeah..so much for that..i havent exactly finished typing my learning reports either soooo..phooey...

the next on my agenda was to watch the tempest video for my shakespeare module..but lo and behold..the girl right in front of my and michele beat us to it..and my goodness gracious me..she was the most annoying girl in the world..at least for today..the librarians asked her how long the show was..and since it was going to take a really long time of 2 and a half hours..the librarians asked her if it was ok to share it with us..like all 3 of us watching it together..but..BUT..she gave us this really constipated arrogant look and said a flat no..because she wanted to have the liberty of taking her time and stopping the video as and when she wanted..right..she had such a slappable face i think i would have slapped her..tsk..and like michele said..she though such people only existed in horror movies..tsk tsk tsk..we should have annoyed her by purposely standing behind her as she watched the movie..hahahahaha..but of course we didnt lah..

so yeah..rather unfruitful trip all the way to NUS..but at least i managed to get a little extra information about walcott and dabydeen as well as draw a few more sketches in my sketchbook..and finished reading the readings i photostated this morning..oh well..i didnt accomplish as much as i wanted to..sigh..looks like its gonna be another really late night for me today and back to school again on wednesday..bah..i hate non-aircon buses!

life has its many little ironies.
but some little ones have enormous repercussions.
well, at least at that point in time when it occurs.

so whats this little irony of mine?
i was studying for my cybercrime test.
(take note of what test it was cause it plays a big part in this irony.)
i was surfing the internet, trying to find out what a mod is.
i was chatting to JY online.
suddenly, my windows alerted me to a virus intrusion.
i scanned it but somehow the software didnt work.
and so my computer crashed on me.
kapish, died, dead, gone.

ok first reaction was to scream and yell for my brother.
BUT, it was 1am in the morning so that wasnt a very good idea.
next reaction?
sulk, get frustrated, get pissed and lash it out at whoever was the nearest to me.
ok. so maybe not the nearest since i vented on JY since i was on google talk with him.
(see? another little irony of life.)
sigh. poor boy had to endure my nonsense for about an hour while i grumbled and complained and got kinda sarcastic as i tried to save whatever data i could bu burning them into CDs.
thanks dear. for just being so patient. thanks for waiting up with me though i was being an absolute pain in the ass.
heh.
*sheepish smile

but my lappy is working again thanks to my techie brother.
my C drive was reformatted and up and running within about an hour.
and so i was fortunate enough not to have to survive one day without my lappy!
yay!

in the computer lab blogging now though..haha..bored..waiting for visual com class to start..to present the story book me and michele did..

the whole process of making the storybook was a long and tedious and very very expensive one. i think the whole experience has taught the both of us a lot and perhaps made us even closer friends. and we also learnt how to be more dependable and accountable.
but we had our fair share of a lot of fun, laughing at each other, and ranting about the high cost of this module!
i love you babe. no matter what. its really been a great semester doing all the same modules as you.
(:

oh well. after all the money that has already been spent, theres still more to be wasted away when i print out all the stuff i need for my portfolio submission. which means. no more shopping for the time being i suppose. haha. thats gonna be quite the impossible. but i suppose it helps that i dont really have the time to go shopping. tsk. argh. but i was supposed to find a white top and bottom for choir tomorrow! amazingly, ive joined the choir. haha. more like i didnt have a choice. but its interesting i guess. gonna be singing for good friday tomorrow. hopefully i'll remember how the song goes. hurhur. lets just see how it turns out tmr shall we?

alright. think im running out of things to say here. typing on this keyboard is really noisy. haha.
cant wait for the weekend!

(:

TULIP PLANTING
Saturday 27 May and 10 June and Sunday 28 May and 11 June

The tulip bulbs are chilling down nicely in the cool room and all we need now is many willing hands to help put them in the ground. The annual planting of tulip bulbs at Araluen Botanic Park has become a tradition formany families and groups. So why not put on your gardening clothes and get acquainted with mother earth and join us in the enjoyable task of planting tulips. You will be rewarded with a delicious morning tea courtesy of Araluen, so bring a friend, bring the family or just come alone you will be very welcome.

I wanna go!!!!

sponsors? donors?

anyone wants to go to perth?

haha

(:

and just to wet your appetite:

and so they say,
"out of sight, out of mind"
and why this way?
"i've got no money, i've got no time".

and this song dedication goes out to....

You.

"Get to Me"
-Train

Well an airplane's faster than a Cadillac
And a whole lot smoother than a camel's back
But I don't care how you get to me
Just get to me

Parasail or first class mail
Get on the back of a Nightingale
Just get to me
I don't care just get to me

Prokeds, mopeds take a limousine instead
They ain't cheap but they're easy to find
Get on the highway point yourself my way
Take a roller coaster that comes in sideways
Just get to me

Go on hitch a ride on the backof a butterfly
There's no better way to fly
To get to me
I look around at what I got
And without you, it ain't a lot
But I got everything, with you, everything

Maybe you could pollinate over the
Golden Gate

Take a left hand turn at the corner
Of Haight

And then a sharp right
At the first street light
And get yourself on a motor bike
And if you think you'll get stuck in atraffic jam
That's fine, send yourself through a telephone line
It doesn't matter how you get to me
Just get to me

POLLY’S PERFECT SHOES

One day, Polly’s mother bought her a new pair of shoes. . She gave them to Polly and asked her to try it on, “Put them on and see if you like them Polly.”
Polly opened the box and tried on the shoes.

However, instead of a word of thanks to her mother, Polly declared, “These are the worst shoes in the world!”

With that Polly kicked off the shoes and ran out of the room.
“I shall find my own perfect pair of shoes,” she thought to herself and went into the next room which was her mother’s.


“Mummy should have nice shoes. I’ve seen her wear those lovely shoes to work.”
Polly took out a pair of black high heeled shoes from the closet and tried them on.
“It’s too black, it’s too high and it’s too difficult to walk in!”
So she left the shoes on the floor and went into the next room which was her Grandmother’s.


“Grandma should have nice shoes. I’ve seen her wear those comfortable shoes around the house.”
Polly found a pair of pink bedroom slippers at the side of the bed and tried them on.
“It’s too bright, it’s too flat and it’s too difficult to walk in!”
So she left the shoes next to the door and went into the next room which was her older brother’s.


“Big brother should have nice shoes. I’ve seen him wear those colourful shoes to school.”
Polly climbed on a stool to reach the sneakers on the top shelf of the shoe rack and tried them on.
“It’s too smelly, it’s too dirty and it’s too difficult to walk in!”
So she left the shoes on the bottom shelf and went into the next room which was her baby sister’s.


“Little sister should have nice shoes. I’ve seen her wear those cute shoes when we go out to the park.”
Polly took out a pair of baby booties from the chest of drawers and tried them on.
“It’s too soft, it’s too small and it’s too difficult to walk in!”
So she left the shoes next to the cot and went downstairs to her father’s workroom in the backyard.


“Daddy should have nice shoes. I’ve seen him wear those tough-looking shoes when we go fishing.”
Polly pulled out the hiking boots from behind the shed and tried them on.
“It’s too muddy, it’s too heavy and it’s too difficult to walk in!”
So she left the shoes in the pile of racked autumn leaves and went to the front porch.


She sat on the steps with her head in her hands and even asked Snuffle her dog, “Do you have a pair of shoes I could try?”


Disappointed, she finally walked back to her room. There she sees the shoes she kicked off. She decided to try on the shoes once again.
“It’s pretty, it’s comfy and it’s easy to walk in, play in, jump in, run in and dance in!”

Polly excitedly went to find her mother in her new pretty shoes. She found her mother in the garden and ran into her arms to hug her tight.
“Thank you for the new shoes mummy. I love it. It’s lovely. I’m sorry for what I said and did earlier on”
Mummy picked up Polly into her arms, kissed her, and said, “It’s alright, Polly. Mummy is happy that you like them”
They then walked back into the house, hand in hand, with Polly in her perfect shoes.

THE END

haha! so what do you guys think of my story? hurhur. its for children's storybook that me and michele have to do for our visual communication module. illustrations will come up soon!

(:

since im taking a break from my hideous shakespeare essay (i've been bullshitting for the whole morning and all i have is 1200 words!!!) i shall talk about..more shakespeare..haha..

so yesterday me and michele decided to skip interactive media lecture to go to the library and borrow a copy of Prospero's Books, which is an adaptation of shakespeare's the tempest, and watch it for the purpose of michele's presentation and class. since we were kinda running out of time, michele proceeded to watch it first while i ran off to the book section to try and get some useful books for my essay. upon returning, i got the most alarming shock in my life. i saw heaps of naked people parading on the television screen. i kid you not. it was horrible! it was scary! and it was most distasteful! my gosh. i dont know how explicit i should be in my description here (there might be little kids reading my blog..you never know..they could have you sued!) but it was so bad it was traumatizing!!! go ask michele if you dont believe me..i was really thankful for the break my eyes needed when we had to stop the show halfway to go for tutorial...

the second part of the show was anything but better..still the same..still all these naked people, both men and women, walking around in the buff..tsk..i was commenting to michele that they must have hired these people from a nudist colony or somthing..i mean..how can so many people walk around naked with each other and not feel weird? sheesh..it wasnt just these naked people that was bad..there was eerie extremely high-pitched the-glass-could-shatter type of singing by this spirit creature, weird and creepy dancing and people with so much body paint they look like things from the netherworld (but i suppose that was the point). it didnt help that the video was old so the colour was like yellowish and dirty. the whole thing is just disturbing. and the best part is.....................its considered a classic. bah.

well. at least the sushi buffet later made up for the traumatizing 2hours and 10minutes. haha. by the time me and mish got there we were both starving and the first few plates were eaten without much conversation exchanged. hahahahaha. two starving uni students. hurhur. was really fun. we managed to come up with our story for thur's visual comm class but the sketches..are..not done..hahahahaha..and we tried coming up with a sadistic alternative. hurhur. yeah..we ate about 35 plates? not bad..haha..and i realise the only sushi i ate was the salmon, tuna and unagi (these two courtesy of michele, i didnt order it) and the rest were like the fried stuff..ahahhaa..many horriblez...

walked down to bugis street later since we were in desperate need to some digesting..michele went to buy earrings for her HANDS people and we had a hard time choosing..hahah..i bought two pairs for myself..yeah..havent bought any since so so long..cause after i came back from bangkok..everything here seems so expensive..hahaha..yeah..and i bought a belt..for only 8bucks!!! they were selling the same thing at the NUS arts bazaar for $12.90...and i thought that was cheap..tsk..i felt so cheated..but happy nonetheless..hurhur..

alright..think i better get back to my essay..tsk..this week is going to be a crazy week..so many deadlines! im drowning in them! ahhhhh! haha..but im looking forward to sunday cause that's when im going with amanda and jim to check out the Manhattan Fish Market at PS..heard too many rave reviews..and of course..more importantly..waiting for jy's internet to be up and running again..

I wanna dress my kids in Small Paul!

ok. so once again, im doing everything else but my essay(s). haha.

Have I been good enough my whole life
Why do I feel so useless and unworthy
But somehow when I come to you
You make me realise
That I mean something.

Something amazing,
Something incredible.
That’s what you make me.
Something so beautiful,
Something so wonderful,
That’s who you see.

ok.
the above is how my paper, containing the poem i need to work on for my essay, looks like after i've attempted to analyse it.
not bad for something done within 30minutes and at 10am while im still half-awake.
haha.
but i'm too lazy to actually put everything into an essay.
*bleah.
lazy lah.
haha.
essay-ing is much much tougher than scribbling.

instead, ive been wandering around the internet.
and i found out that the bible actually has quite cool names:

Ariel (Hebrew) - Ezra 8:16 - altar; light or lion of God.
Leah (Hebrew) - Gen. 29:16 - weary; tired.
Jael (Hebrew) - Judges 4:17 - one that ascends.
Myra (Greek) - Acts 27:5 - I flow; pour out; weep.
Olive (Latin) - Gen. 8:11 - fruitfulness; beauty; dignity.
Sapphira (English) - Acts 5:1 - that relates or tells.
Talitha (Aramaic)- Mark 5:41 - little girl; young woman.

Abner (Hebrew) - 1 Sam. 14:50 - father of light.
Asher (Hebrew) - Gen. 30:13 - happiness.
Ezra (Hebrew) - Ezra 7:1 - help; court.
Jairus (Hebrew) - Mark 5:22 - my light; who diffuses light.
Javan (Hebrew) - Gen. 10:2 - deceiver; one who makes sad.
Joash (Hebrew) - Judges 6:11 - who despairs or burns.
Joses (Hebrew) - Matt. 27:56 - raised; who pardons.
Shem (Hebrew) - Gen. 5:32 - name; renown.

i cant say much for some of the meanings though.
hurhur.
(Hur (Hebrew) - Exodus 17:10 - liberty; whiteness; hole.)
(hahahah! there's even a guy called HUR!)
(ok. i shldnt be laughing at other people's name.)
(hur.)

okok.
im back to doing everything else but my essay.
haha.
why am i not even vaguely surprised.

To keep your marriage brimming,

With love in the wedding cup,

Whenever you're wrong, admit it;

Whenever you're right, shut up.

~Ogden Nash

what amanda said yesterday in the train is starting to make sense.
there's a danger in being caught in between the really rich and the really poor.

i consider myself really well-to-do.
as my brother put it once, he said his friends called him "a semi-rich man's son" which makes me "a semi-rich man's daughter".
which i feel is as apt and as accurate a description one can get to.
i have everything i need.
i have just about everything i want.
my idea of being broke is having $200 in my bank account.
and $600 in another account nonetheless.
i complain im broke but i still am able to fork out money to pay for my school books, top up my ezlink card, buy myself a pair of levis and an exhorbitantly priced zara skirt and still have enough to spend on an expensive dinner for a friend's birthday.

perhaps im stuck.
stuck in a very very weird rut.
i know the value of money in the sense i dont spend till im flat broke and emptied out.
but yet i dont know the value in the sense that i am willing to spend so much on others and on myself.
its just a very strange balance isnt it, the very idea of a strange balance being oxymoronic.
money is something i am careful about and am mindful of my budget.
but yet i spend, and spend, and spend and spend and spend.
you get the idea.

its affecting me.
its affecting others.

so do i wise up and shut up about it?
keep the money issues to myself?
psycho myself into realising that $200 left in the bank is not nearly close to being considered "broke"?

i really dunno.

those of you who think i can survive on a life less than what im living now,
hands up!

Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove...

- william shakespeare, sonnet 116

Thank God for...

mummy and daddy who sent me and michele to school today.

for michele's generosity and creativity that i have a new pair of shoes.

allowing my shakespeare presentation to go smoothly given how paranoid i was about it.

a delicious lunch that's cheap and good.

the programme to finally work so that michele could open her file for visual comm class.

constructive feedback during visual comm class to improve on my greeting card.

bus 16 that arrived in time and that we were able to board it so we wouldnt be late for the show.

the usher that helped us find our seats.

the yummy subway dinner that filled us up during the disney on ice performance.

the amount of fun and enjoyment jim had today.

bus 11 to finally arrive so we could get to kallang mrt station.

the bus 51 to arrive shortly after i reached the bus stop.

seeing me home safely.

(:

sometimes having too many options can backfire.
they say that "variety is the spice of life"but perhaps variety can make like a little too hot to handle.

two nights ago i casually brought up the idea of me doing my honours overseas after im done with NUS next year.
and today during lunch with mum she brought it up again and it really got me thinking about it.
she said that it's ok if i want to go and that i'll probably receive a PM scholarship (for the uninformed..PM would stand for papa mama) for my postgraduate studies.

ok before i go on, maybe i should explain why i want to go overseas.
first and foremost, im not eligible to do my honours in singapore. reason being im currently doing a shared major between literature and new media studies. and the policy of NUS is that shared major students are not eligible for honours. then why am i doing a shared major? well. as much as i love literature, i find that to just study lit wont really get me anywhere in life. and im quite repulsed at the idea of becoming a teacher. i mean. all my students will be bigger than me! ok but seriously, i really dont think im cut out to be a teacher. some people have it and some people dont. im part of the latter. i also really wanted to do mass com in NTU but i didnt get in. so here i am in NUS trying to make the best of my 3 years and trying to do both.

secondly, i want to have more than just a cert that says "Bachelor of Arts and Social Science". i guess i do want to go into something more specialised pick up more practical skills. right now the new media studies in NUS is relatively new hence the modules arent really hands-on or specific. but i suppose thats what a bachelor is. university is all about diversity and creativity and blah blah blah. but i think i would rather learn more. and an honours programme would perhaps be the best way to get into something more focused and concentrated. i dont know how much more of an edge it will give me when it comes to finding a job but more out of personal, and call it selfish pursuit if u may, that im quite for the idea of carrying on my studies. besides, once all the studying ends, it's work work work all the way till God knows when. study while u still can.

thirdly, let's just say ive wanted to go abroad to study all along. the thought of a new environment, a new culture, a new setting and a chance to totally be immersed in a new way of life always intriged me. as much as im shy, and quiet, and introverted and lets just say adverse to new things, i just somehow always had the urge to go overseas and away from all the things im so used to. studying would be the perfect, i suppose, "excuse" to get this opportunity. besides. im a little sore that my parents are giving my brother the chance to go overseas but he's refusing it flatly. now that my parents are giving me the green light, im gonna jump at the chance.

back to my very first line, the problem then comes to the question of "what":
what to major in.
what to do.
what to study.
what to focus on.
already i've looked at the 3 main universities in perth (australia being the choice of country since its the cheapest..though..i assure you in no way cheap at all..just the cheapest) and im a little boggled.
so many choices.
arts.
media.
media management.
HR.
PR.
communication studies.
literary studies.
librarianship and corporate information management?
once i jump into it, im stuck with it.

its not really too early to start thinking and planning for it..this semester is going to end soon and the other two are going to fly by and soon i'll be graduating..sigh..well..lets just see how it goes shall we..in the meantime..i'll keep praying..and scouting around and finding out more..anyone with information or contacts let me know yeah..

finally.
just a thought.
will anyone miss me while im gone?

finally im done with another week of school...

honestly it seemed like the longest week ever..considering time during this school term seemed to have been whizzing by like an annoying fly buzzing in your ear..well..ok..im back to ranting and rambling and complaining and whinning and sulking about how he's not around anymore..but i cant help it..it just is..and its the truth and fact of the matter isnt it?
haha..okok..its not as if i cant get over it and i keep crying or anthg so drastic as that but it just feels so darn weird..like how when my brother rang the doorbell i immediately jumped..but wait..hang on a second..it cant be him..and how usually after thurs' late lesson im usually skipping off excitedly to suntec to meet him after work for dinner..phooey..instead..i had to endure a 2hour bus ride home that was just infested with traffic jam after traffic jam...

BUT..at least i had a lot of fun after visual comm class today..courtesy of mishie moo! haha..though it was a short time spent together..we had fun shopping at the co-op..hurhur..i cant believe we had so much problem trying to spend $40 between the both of us..hahahaha..guess buying food and stationary is a lot harder than spending on clothes and accessories huh..hurhur..anyway..today ms chang played santa clausette and bought me stuff! on the list of things were an A3-sized portfolio, a purple pen, a packet of white rabbit sweets, a packet of peanut M&Ms and a box of strawberry kitkat! yuuuummmmmmmyyyy!!! hahaha..i think i felt like a little kid all over again..hurhur..with all that chocolate and sweets..hahahaha..so much for trying to help me cut down on my sugar intake huh..haha..i think as much as the people around me try to discourage my sugar intake..somehow..just somehow..they always either forget about it or give in to me..hahaha..and mishie..stop practicing your "looks" on me lahhhhh..hurhur..sorry..inside joke!

reached home at about 8pm just in time for dinner..which was as always..yummy..haha..i love coming home for dinner..mum's cooking always makes me happy..yeah..did the dishes..showered..watched amazing race and here i am blogging on this swealtering hot and humid thursday night..waiting up for jy to come back from llama bar so i can rant about my day to him..hhahaahaa..im about to fall asleep though..eyelids are heavvyyyyy..hurhur..got tons of stuff to do tmr as well..meet mum for lunch..return library books..buy printer paper..get starting on my presentation..at least dad helped me to change my watch strap today..haha..thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks dadddyyyyyy..hurhur..daddy's little girl..too bad dad has to work tmr..i was kinda looking forward to having lunch with him..

im so tempted to just turn on the aircon and lie on my bed..but..thats assuming i'll be able to wake up when jy reaches home..hahaa..oh well..we'll see..

oh yar! one last thing..if ure free and bored and have nothing better to do..do this! haha! http://kevan.org/johari?name=wongmeiyan

co-op presents thanks to michele!

my "social message"poster for visual comm class!

i think i finally am able to put into words why i feel so reluctant to let him go.

its not because i want him there,
but because i want to be there for him.

its not because i want him to hold my hand,
but because i want to hold his hand.

its not because i want him to smile for me,
but because i want to make him smile.

its not because i want to talk to him,
but because i want him to have me to talk to.

its not because i want to hear him say it,
but because i want to tell him "i love you".

4 months.
16 weeks.
112 days.
2688 hours.
161280 minutes.
9676800 seconds.

this week is presentation week for me:
monday - lit and other arts
wednesday - interactive media
thursday - visual communications

so how was today's presentation?
well..considering me and michele took about 2hrs to finalize stuff at amk macs on sunday..i think we did a pretty darn good job..haha..seriously..and its no mean feat ok..cause the topic we're doing on (Ashbery and de Chirico for those interested) was like the hardest and most complicated of all the topics we could have possibly chosen in our module..hahaaa..so dumb i tell you..cause we had to pick which weeks and topics we wanted to do our presentation on..and we didnt want to do it too late so as to clash with the annual rushing of essays we had to do mr. ashbery cause the previous weeks were all taken up..so yeah..haha..we spent 3 solid hours in the central library just trying to find a poem and painting to match..this ashbery fella is one crazy fella..he wrote a 50 page long POEM (mind you..its one whole poem..not prose), wrote a poem on daffy duck (yes you heard me right) and wrote a book titled "a nest of ninnys"..me and michele were like.. -_-'"..haha..but im kinda glad we did it..i got to learn a lot and practice interpreting painting..because it was so challenging im sure we learnt a lot more than we would have if we did a straightforward and typical poem or painting..job well done mishie moo!

right now my eyes can barely open..haha..stayed back in school to finish up our new media project..its going ok i guess..my group is going to have to bang on the presentation to get us a good grade i suppose..because we didnt really meet up properly our slides and info were all a little messed up..had to fix it with mish today..yeah..but the project came after we had lunch at the business canteen..had my bratwraust and potato wedges..it wasnt as nice as i remembered it to be though..haha..but nvm..had fun meeting up with shawn and me, mary, michele and shawn went totally bonkers and evil talking about..er..erm..ok..stuff..hahaha..not safe to disclose..you never know who might be reading your blog..haha..

got quite a lot of stuff to do this week..wanna try and at least start on my poster for visual comm class on thursday tonight..and finish reading Love's Labour's Lost in preparation for my shakespeare presentation next thurs..need to return library books..change my watch strap..research on my lit and other art's essay..iron my clothes..buy contact lenses..

but as much as im this busy..i still have time to think of him..yeah..its only day two since he left for perth and im already pinning for him to come back home..heh..well..i guess its back to laggy webcam images and at least good quality "phone-calls"over google talk..thank God for the internet and fast broadband connection..haha..but..nothing..absolutely nothing beats the real thing..sigh..its a matter of getting used to it i suppose..but..then again..i really dont wanna get used to you being away from me...

alright..time to go for dinner..not very hungry though..i still can feel the sausage and soya bean milk swimming around in my stomach........

i still remember how each and every goodbye was.
every one a little different from the other.

the first was the easiest, yet not that easy.
we were new friends, a little more than mere acquaintances.
but there was a little saddness on my part for just when i was getting to know him better and having fun during our movie sessions and talks by the pool, he was leaving.
it was that kind of pinning for something more because u've had your first sweet taste of it.

the second was definitely nothing like the first one because we were a lot more than just friends.
we were together.
and that made things tough.
it was a little like the first goodbye in the sense it left me pinning and wanting more.
more time with him.
it was the first time we were spending time together as a couple.
and after 5 weeks he was due to fly back.
that goodbye was no mean feat.
though it was comforted by the fact that he'd be back.

the third goodbye was and has been the worst thus far.
and this time it wasnt at changi airport but in Perth.
i had just spent close to 9 full days with him.
seeing him just about 24/7.
and it was really during this period where we got to know each other so much better.
and it was this short period of time that we both grew to love each other for what we really are as individuals.
i had to be really strong and walk through the departure gate without crying.
inside i was crying and struggling to even talk without having tears roll down my cheeks.
i cried uncontrollably in the plane.

tonight, the goodbye is going to be tough as well.
to say goodbye after spending 3 lovely and eventful months is just not easy.
i feel like im just getting used to having him around but now its time to readjust back to seeing him only when he's online.
its back to staring at the lifeless screen and getting lagging webcam pictures of him.
sigh....
i already found it so hard to let him take the lift up to his house every night.
what more saying goodbye for the next four months.

no matter how many goodbyes, no matter how many visits to the airport,
i'll never ever be able to say it with ease.

tonight is going to be no exception.........
how is it that i already miss you?

cent deux jours...

thanks for today.
for just holding on tight to my hand.

you constantly remind me that God never ever ever gives up on His children.
even if they keep failing and falling down flat.

on a lighter note,
who's gonna peel chicken wings for me when ure back in perth?
*sulk

indeed it was a really special dinner..
the whole night was just perfect...

took the 6.00pm shuttle to hougang mrt station and i just knew i would be late for the dinner date..
at 630 i was still amazingly at potong pasir when i smsed him..
the NEL is usually so fast im always early..guess when ure late..ure late..haha..
as a result of reaching city hall at 650 i literally ran (in heels) all the way to suntec tower 2..which in case you dont know where that is..its right at the end of suntec where the huge adidas shop is..haha..
but all that running was really worth it..
from the escalator upstairs my prince charming was spying on me and surprised me with a huge bouquet of lilies! (:
dinner was a delicious affair..
he brought me to have indonesian food at the sudanese house..
was really lovely because he pre-ordered and paid for the dinner before we arrived so everything came like clock-work from the drinks to the dishes (it was also probably a ploy to prevent me from finding out how much he spent on dinner)..
curry chicken, sambal prawns, kang kong and one of the best tasting sea bass ive ever had..
dessert was an interesting indonesian concoction of super-sweet mangoes and pomelo segments..
by the end of the dinner i really felt like i was going to burst...

took a walk down to the esplanade..
went up to the sky garden and it was really nice with all the soft lighting and the band playing downstairs..
needless to say there were quite a lot of other couples there too..
i was just telling him that theres really no where else to go in singapore..hurhur..
we sat down and as if the dinner and flowers weren't enough..he had yet another surprise for me..
out came the butterfly pendant that i had given up looking for some time ago..before christmas i think..
it really made such a wonderful surprise..

with all honesty..
its not the flowers, or the dinner or the presents or the hefty amount of money spent that made my valentine's day such a lovely one..
its the person i was able to spend it with and knowing how much effort and planning he put into making the night a memorable one..
thanks dear..
things just wouldnt be the same without you around..
and just like you prayed before dinner..
may our love for each other, as well as our love for God grow with each passing day..
and may He continue to bless our relationship as He has been for the past nine months..
(:

INVITATION.....
for Ms Kathleen Wong
to a special dinner

Date: 14/02/2006 (Today)
Time: 6:45 p.m.
Meeting Point: Suntec City Tower 2 Bench

RSVP

its already been a week since i last blogged..
and since im waiting for my hair to dry..
here's another entry for all my blog readers out there..

lets start of with a little update about school shall we?
well..the modules that ive been worried and gone sleepless over are so far so good..
but that isnt to say that theyre easy..its rather to say that with the right attitude and mindset it can made into something managable and enjoyable..
yup..
intro to visual comm didnt turn out to be that bad..it was just that the first day of class i was suddenly thrown into a most frustrating situation whereby i had to use adobe photoshop to design a poster thingy when ive NEVER used that program before..
but the following week we spent about 2 and a half hours just doodling and drawing..churning out endless useless, funny and weird sketches..
today we did presentations of our decided sketches to be used in the final prototype design and it was rather fun..
i actually was more confident and interative with my "audience" than i thought i would have been..
thank God for michele too because shes always (literally) beside me helping me..
and for pushing me to take modules that i never would have taken (a.k.a this module and science fiction last semester)

as for shakespeare..its been quite good actually..
sure the workload is heavy with all the readings, extra readings and self-study of the various plays but its interesting..
im learning beyond just the play..
im learning about editors, authorship, questioning the concept of minor characterization, sources, authenticity..
not just the usual going through the text line by line as is the common practice of secondary school and jc..
and thank God for a project group in which everyone is serious about getting the work done and sharing the workload..

what else...
besides school..nothing much has been happenning..except chinese new year which just passed..
chinese new year was a really good time for me because it gave me the chance to visit his relatives and just spend more time with his family..
went to his grandma's (father's side) house for dinner on the first day..
hugeeeeeeeeeeee family..all the family members inside one flat..haha..with loads of food to feed the dense population..
after that we proceeded to his other grandma's (mother's side) for dessert..hahaa..homemade cheesecake made by his uncle..and there was even mango cake leftover from celebrating his grandma's birthday..
oh yeah..he was telling me that his uncle usually sleeps really early but was at grandma's house because he knew i was coming..
haha..his brother was like saying it must be because of a "V.I.P"..hurhur..
and as if there wasnt enough visitation therewas still more activity that night as his family came over to my house to visit..
haha..his family..my family..wayne and lily (my neighbours)..and of course tea and heaps of new year goodies covered the table outside under the stars..
it was a good time of chatting..laughter..lots of jokes and teasings too..needless to say quite a lot of it was directed at me and at my expense..
haha..

speaking of his relatives..we had a late night outing with his cousins..all thanks to Kelly for so enthusiastically organizing it during the dinner night at his grandma's place..haha..
the initial plan that got everyone excited was to go to MOS..
but alas..when we got there..there was NO QUEUE..because it was closed.
tsk.killjoy.spoiler.party pooper.wet blanket.bah.phooey.bleah.
haha..yeah..was such a disappointment..but it was quite a sight to see MOS without a queue..hurhur..
stranded we proceeded to brewerks!
me, jy and his other cousin took Kit's Lexus..and wow..it looks really good..the silver makes it even more sleek..i like..haha..very spacious..and it has a touch screen panel..amazing..
(jy are u reading this..better work hard and start saving money! *hinthint)
had a good time at brewerks..we ordered two towers..the first beer was indian pale ale..was not bad..very smooth..the second one we ordered was black razzy..which was..a bad choice..haha..tasted too much like a fruit drink doused with alcohol..
their snacks are good though..absolutely loved the fries..the nachos wasnt too bad either..
and as if it wasnt enough indulgence..the next stop was mdm wongs..
more alcohol..vodka lime and bourbon coke..haha..as if to make up for the lack of MOS that night..
dancing was fun..not many people around but just enough on the dance floor..
but be warned..dancing immediately after downing so much alcohol is very very bad......................you have been warned.enough said.

gosh.
its already 3rd feb year 2006..
honestly..where did time go?
time seemed to have whizzed by from the time he landed in singapore on the 24th of nov 2005 to now..
week after week just passes by with a blink of the eye..
sigh..its really true..time seems to pass by a lot faster when ure having fun..
and more than having fun, im having the time of my life..
no its not all smooth-sailing and fairy tale days but with its fair share of silly arguments and quarrels..
through it all..i just thank God that He has given me someone whom i can learn so much from..
jy has really taught me so much and im still learning as he is learning from me too..
a relationship is more than just giving and taking but its also about correcting each other in love even though we know its gonna be hard to be harsh on the other party..
thank God that jy knows when to put his foot down and tell me when im wrong..
he's following my mum's advice of "cannot spoil her"..hurhur..
no wonder my parents love u so much..
tsk..
haha..
*Grin

alright..
i should really speed up the drying process with the help of my hair dryer than head straight to bed..
gotta wake up early tmr!
he's coming down to have breakkie with my family..
the ping guo pie that we bought from carrefour today..
Yummy!
(:

night y'all.